yes, i am blogging during my english counselling session. the kids are having examinations so I am waiting for them to complete the papers.
today is not a good day for me. first, XH broke down during the morning class. I was quite worried for her as she doesn't seem to be happy these few days. The last I spoke to her was last sunday night when we happily tok about our different groups in FGS. She seemed stressed today. I don't know how to help her. :( luckily ven mj is with her, probably tok to her and she began to speak to us again during the late afternoon lesson. But before the lesson, she rushed off. I hope she would be there when i return to my hostel. if not, hope she will come back after weekend.
Next, is the trip to the hostel to buy some snacks before going to the library. nearly fell off the long stair case. I think my leg is injured once again. Sigh. :( And i didn't get to eat the snacks i bought for I left it in the library, time was running out so i went off for this lesson. Hope HS had enjoyed the snacks but well, probably she doesn't love chocolate as I do, but what to do? there is only chocolate left from the stall. the butter wa spoilt and the boss threw it away when he saw me staring at the brown brown thing. On the trip to the classroom, once again, i nearly tripped over climbing up the stairs. Am i a humpty dumpty? maybe i need to eat more calcium and vit D. hahaha.
The worst thing is, not all the kids arrived to do the exam. Esp the girl who greeted me this noon. She said "see you tonight", but she never appeared. I think they are afriad of the exams thus, they didn't appear. But sad to tell them, when we enjoy christmas party next week, they have to do the exams. Hahahaha... am i being evil? :P Actually, the exams are to help them to know the words from the text so that they can be more familiar during the real exam and I am not here to pull down their marks. if they cannot score, i will give them other means to bring up this mark. Sigh, HS and I were so disheartened everytime we go for these remedial lessons. If they choose not to help themselves, how to help them? Suddenly, tot of the "yi jiao jing"'s words said by the Buddha: I am like a doctor, I diagnosed and prescibed the medicine for the sick, if the sick chooses not to eat, it is not the doctor's fault.
As a "bodhisattrva", i will continue trying to help them, esp those who wish to learn. Hopefully, they will get good results in the final term and most importantly, love english.
2007年12月17日星期一
饺子恐惧症
today, i have the above mentioned illness. TS and YW asked HS and me to go to help up in the jiaozi making. All of us are tasked to to 1600+ jiaozi. We started from 1 plus and ended around 430 p.m. Boy, me and SY were nearly on the verge of vomiting after the whole event.
Wow.... when i saw the jiaozi during dinner today, I nearly fainted due to my illness. Imagine each of us is allocated with 20 jiaozi-s. I only finished 16. Now I see the point why HS made hers so small. I was laffing at her for being stingy. Mine are gigantic jiaozi. To finish 20, I think I would prefer HS's ones too.
Ven MD and I had a small "argument" over who made the jiaozi which I have selected. She claimed it was her, for it looked normal and the size was normal. I tot it was me becos' i made some of her patterns too. Anyway, it is already in my stomach, who cares? :P
It was a good afternoon to make jiaozis with the aunties and our classmates. But, please don't have it too often. I have to cure my phobia first.
Wow.... when i saw the jiaozi during dinner today, I nearly fainted due to my illness. Imagine each of us is allocated with 20 jiaozi-s. I only finished 16. Now I see the point why HS made hers so small. I was laffing at her for being stingy. Mine are gigantic jiaozi. To finish 20, I think I would prefer HS's ones too.
Ven MD and I had a small "argument" over who made the jiaozi which I have selected. She claimed it was her, for it looked normal and the size was normal. I tot it was me becos' i made some of her patterns too. Anyway, it is already in my stomach, who cares? :P
It was a good afternoon to make jiaozis with the aunties and our classmates. But, please don't have it too often. I have to cure my phobia first.
朝山
是的。我终于做到了。昨日，我成功地朝山了。真得很开心。等了那么久的时间。
还记得在短期出家的时候，又希望能朝山， 又怕自己做不到， 而不想朝山。 那一次，台风天-朝山取消。
过了一年，我来祝寿， 又可能有机会朝山。 我的心情如同当初，可能是佛菩萨知道我还没准备好，朝山因为大众星期六太累了，朝山取消。
昨日，我带着“随它去“的心情朝山了。 还好，朝山对我而言，还可以。只是在跪楼梯时，膝盖真的好痛，却也忍了下来。在过程中，我开始是求自己的心愿能够达成，到了在麻竹园的菩提二路时，我开始求大众的心愿都能达成。 在上楼梯时，我已变成希望众生都能心想事成， 众生都能离苦得乐。我察觉我的心念改变时，我很开心，因为，我不再那么自私， 那么自我。。。
我想，世界上最快乐的事，就是能学佛。我这一生才没白活。
觉培法师问我们“如果，你只能活三天，你会用这三天做什么？“ 我已有我的答案。你呢？想想看吧
还记得在短期出家的时候，又希望能朝山， 又怕自己做不到， 而不想朝山。 那一次，台风天-朝山取消。
过了一年，我来祝寿， 又可能有机会朝山。 我的心情如同当初，可能是佛菩萨知道我还没准备好，朝山因为大众星期六太累了，朝山取消。
昨日，我带着“随它去“的心情朝山了。 还好，朝山对我而言，还可以。只是在跪楼梯时，膝盖真的好痛，却也忍了下来。在过程中，我开始是求自己的心愿能够达成，到了在麻竹园的菩提二路时，我开始求大众的心愿都能达成。 在上楼梯时，我已变成希望众生都能心想事成， 众生都能离苦得乐。我察觉我的心念改变时，我很开心，因为，我不再那么自私， 那么自我。。。
我想，世界上最快乐的事，就是能学佛。我这一生才没白活。
觉培法师问我们“如果，你只能活三天，你会用这三天做什么？“ 我已有我的答案。你呢？想想看吧
2007年12月13日星期四
Cleaning the XiangDeng Area
Very glad that I have finally finished cleaning up the XiangDeng Area - my duties were to clean up and tidy up the sutras in the shelf and cupboard. I have started cleaning it with GM last friday. But we didn't complete. Thus, this week, I signed up for xiangdeng duties again to complete the unfinished tasks.
So glad that the team this week is all from our class. The 3 special ones who received "bowls" from me and of course, our long-service XiangDeng SF. A pity that YW was not in the team. Probably if there is another opportunity, may 5 of us who shared the special gifts can be xiangdeng or do other duties together.
I have volunteered to help HS in cleaning up the buddha statue. So excited. This is my first time other than cleaning the small ones in my room in Singapore. Hopefully I would be a help rather than a burden.
My "Da-Ban" is getting better each day. Today, I finally have overcome the pseudo-silent beat. Senior KP didn't comment any mistakes on my Da-Ban. Kekekeke. She has been a good teacher watching us from far and commenting only when she found the things we did were unwholesome. She also doesn't anyhow comment on people. She watched the right timing and the people she comments. She teaches me a lot of things during my duties as a computer room attendant.
So glad that the team this week is all from our class. The 3 special ones who received "bowls" from me and of course, our long-service XiangDeng SF. A pity that YW was not in the team. Probably if there is another opportunity, may 5 of us who shared the special gifts can be xiangdeng or do other duties together.
I have volunteered to help HS in cleaning up the buddha statue. So excited. This is my first time other than cleaning the small ones in my room in Singapore. Hopefully I would be a help rather than a burden.
My "Da-Ban" is getting better each day. Today, I finally have overcome the pseudo-silent beat. Senior KP didn't comment any mistakes on my Da-Ban. Kekekeke. She has been a good teacher watching us from far and commenting only when she found the things we did were unwholesome. She also doesn't anyhow comment on people. She watched the right timing and the people she comments. She teaches me a lot of things during my duties as a computer room attendant.
2007年12月12日星期三
Ven MM's Departure
Yesterday early afternoon, ven mm has left this place. She went to FGS first before returning to China. :( So sad. She left without bidding goodbye to us yesterday. She has really left an impact in my life, building up my determination to be someone like her, donating her whole self to the sentient beings, be committed in all the duties she does and be hardworking in learning Buddhism.
I am glad that YW and I had a good heart-to-heart talk with her on the night before she left though we only ended our chat around 12 midnight. She gave us a short analysis of our characteristics too. This would help us in changing ourselves for the better. Of course, the more important thing is, she has pointed the way, we must walk the path ourselves. Ven MM is like guanyin, compassionate and wise. She is so caring, I would miss her a lot. I know that, cos' I have started to miss her presence.
Hopefully, she would return soon. And when she returns, I would be a better person and so is YW. But of course, HS's and my wish is to be able to fulfill ven MM's wish. May Buddha and Bodhisattvas aid us in fulfilling that. :)
I am glad that YW and I had a good heart-to-heart talk with her on the night before she left though we only ended our chat around 12 midnight. She gave us a short analysis of our characteristics too. This would help us in changing ourselves for the better. Of course, the more important thing is, she has pointed the way, we must walk the path ourselves. Ven MM is like guanyin, compassionate and wise. She is so caring, I would miss her a lot. I know that, cos' I have started to miss her presence.
Hopefully, she would return soon. And when she returns, I would be a better person and so is YW. But of course, HS's and my wish is to be able to fulfill ven MM's wish. May Buddha and Bodhisattvas aid us in fulfilling that. :)
2007年12月6日星期四
Who do you live for?
This morning, after cleaning up the hall, I met Ven. MM. Once again, we drew the "Fo Guang Fa Yu". Ven MM is a good interpreter of the "Fo Guang Fa Yu". I asked a new question today. Normally I only have one question in mind but got different varieties of answers which are quite similar. Today, my mind is occupied by another matter. She interpreted the lot and told me the poem is asking me not to think too much of the matter. Emm, probably like what i always said "天下本无事，庸人自扰之”. Now it applies to me.
Ven MM asked me a question "Who do you live for?" I pondered and said "I don't know" for I dun think I am right to say I live for myself nor for sentient beings. Seems like she can read my thoughts. So she explained to me if I were to say I live for sentient beings, I have not let go my self-ego. If I were to say for myself, that is certainly a high ego.
I am thankful to all these "masters" I have met. Esp, Ven MM, Ven MJ, TS, HS and YW. They are really the bodhisattrvas in my path, correcting my mistakes and making me a better person. Time to get back to work! Chao!
Ven MM asked me a question "Who do you live for?" I pondered and said "I don't know" for I dun think I am right to say I live for myself nor for sentient beings. Seems like she can read my thoughts. So she explained to me if I were to say I live for sentient beings, I have not let go my self-ego. If I were to say for myself, that is certainly a high ego.
I am thankful to all these "masters" I have met. Esp, Ven MM, Ven MJ, TS, HS and YW. They are really the bodhisattrvas in my path, correcting my mistakes and making me a better person. Time to get back to work! Chao!
2007年12月3日星期一
No lessons - Blurred
sigh. went to lessons this morning. then there was no lesson. HS, ven MJ and I were all waiting in the room in vain. But the time was well spent. We had a heart to heart talk with ven MJ and wrote some articles for her. I think she is really capable and caring. She has demonstrated the Bodhisattva's actions. Hopefully one day I will be like her. More to learn, more to let go, more to forget... ...
The afternoon lesson was canceled too. :( Luckily, HS and I have submitted our $$$ form and done some logistics work. Ven MD said something during the class that strikes my thoughts. I have to ponder deep and practise the walk.
We have decided to go to the NanHua University for the conference in weeks to come. Sigh.... gotta spend more $$$ to travel and food but I think it would be a good experience for us. I was not able to decide but HS has put my name down. So, I will just go and see what i can learn from this conference.
So much on the boring day. Time to get back to my work. Many essays to complete before the term ends. To be a good Bodhisattva's partner, I have to constantly remind HS and YW on the work outstanding and get back to the work without losing focus.
The afternoon lesson was canceled too. :( Luckily, HS and I have submitted our $$$ form and done some logistics work. Ven MD said something during the class that strikes my thoughts. I have to ponder deep and practise the walk.
We have decided to go to the NanHua University for the conference in weeks to come. Sigh.... gotta spend more $$$ to travel and food but I think it would be a good experience for us. I was not able to decide but HS has put my name down. So, I will just go and see what i can learn from this conference.
So much on the boring day. Time to get back to my work. Many essays to complete before the term ends. To be a good Bodhisattva's partner, I have to constantly remind HS and YW on the work outstanding and get back to the work without losing focus.
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